oCtoBer, 2000

October 2, 2000, 3:11 AM

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Actually, I am sleepy. I have to sleep. In the jingle jangle morning I have to go to my 8:30 (javaaahhhh ...). I finally dropped Russian, after much linguistic angst. I'm not a good enough person! I keep trying on languages and putting them to the side, and so I guess my bout with Slavic languages has ended after two rounds: Them, 2 (Czech & Russian); Nori, 0. Oh well. Maybe later. I just needed the sleep, needed the modicum of sanity ...

I like Bob Dylan. I've been living under a rock but my friends' music tastes slowly drag me out. Burned a CD for Alexis yesterday of all sorts of good shit (Bob Dylan, Fiona Apple, Grateful Dead, Ben Harper, Paul Simon, Rusted Root, Portishead, &c.) just because I can, hehe.

Tonight I've been analyzing theory too long. I'm loving Music 13--learning a ton--but so much work ...

Just reconnected with jonny of stanford. I love people and i love instant messenger. He asks, "maybe you don't remember ..." --! mais oui. I was actually just wondering about him a couple weeks ago.

They sat together in the park as the evening sky grew dark
She looked at him and he felt a spark tingle through his bones ...

I just dated this. Shit, is it late. Sleep! Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man ...

October 3, 2000, 12:45 AM

Donne ... do-do-doo ... sounds remarkably like the Feet. Jenny's friend from Malaysia Francesca Cricelli is friends with this famous a cappella group in Italy, Neri Per Caso. The feet have sung one of their songs (
Donne) for a while, at least since I've been here. A cute boppy Italian song that they sound great on; it's their type of tight harmonies. I wish I didn't have such problems with male a cappella groups ... with groups of boys singing, for that matter.

Merda, i ragazzi ...

Somehow it's all italian in origin. We don't need to get into the gender/choral politics of Ragazzi and Cantabile right now (boys and singingly--hm, somehow appropriate). That diatribe for a longer entry. But i wish i could scream and say, aa, the feet, eep, neri per caso ...

No, i really don't. Not unless they'll scream for us, too, and they won't--(a) wrong genre; (b) it's not in the persona of boygroups to scream. Too bad.

Today lovely except for the fact I thought Marié was working a library shift that actually I should have been, and George will not be happy tomorrow. He'll deal, I'm sure. Ate lunch with Alyssa, Jenny, Spiegel, otheres. Bag. I love Spiegel--he's so cool. Fuzzy head and loves to have it petted; good hugger; good giver of advice; speaks hebrew; just crazy enough; a huge dork and knows it ... such a wonderful person. That needs to be iterated more often.

Talked to Tom about moveable do and a curriculum for Music 40; he agreed and told me to look at scores with transposing parts. Clarinet in Bb = tenor clef an octave down. Weirdness but it works.. He recommended Beethoven as conducted by Franz Brüggen; of course they're all on reserve at the library for Music 6 (Beethoven, taught by him). Except for 7 & 8. So i got that and have now burned it. :-) Ginnie's buying me 100 CD-R's for $40 on Friday! Yay music. So I'll get some scores, and look at horns in F and Eb, clarinets in Bb. It'll be good for me.

I taught the round I learned with Cantatrix to a bunch of people lying around in a circle:

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

Joel, Allison, Ameliea, Jenny, Eve, Adrienne, and I sang in the belltower until four. Lovely.

Practiced some before the debates. My jaw's hurting--this is not acceptable. I'm being careful, too!

I hate politics. DON'T VOTE FOR NADER! Please don't put Bush in office!

October 5, 2000, 2:07 AM

I love being in Lang. This is going to be the end of me here at swat, I can tell. I too much enjoy hanging out there for eleven straight hours (i took meal breaks) and doing theory assignments, practicing, rehearsing, working in Underhill, listening to music, &c. I did that yesterday and didn't study enough for my CS exam--I don't even want to be in that class! I was going to use it towards a ling-CS concentration or minor, but since figuring out that Cognitive Science essentially is that (plus a few cool Psych courses, like psycholinguistics), I've decided to major in music and concentrate in Cognitive Science. (It's bold so i look like I have a plan, like this is somehow clear and thought-out. It is ... sort of ...) But now I realize that neither CS21 or CS35 (the ones I've taken and am currently in) are accepted as part of the concentration--I should be in CS22 ... Rar. So now I'm stuck with this stupid-ass course that isn't a language, it's a concepts class. Not what I wanted to be doing with my precious time. I want to be playing Trauermusik--Tony said, oh, when can we play it together! I've got Peter Yoo accompanying me. I want to play the Debussy string quartet and hang out and play Handel's Passacaglia with Phil (Watts, I think? another violinist), and just hang out and do music ... it made me so happy the other day. Yesterday. So, when I half-failed my CS exam this morning, I went to theory, and it was all better because we sang Bach chorales.

It was all better because we sang Bach chorales.

It was! Suspensions, chromatically-altered secondary dominants, even just plagal cadences pleased me so greatly that all was forgotten and i left just beaming. I went down to Underhill and signed out a CD of Bach's chromatic fantasy in D and half the Goldberg Variations, put it on repeat all, and fell asleep for an hour after reading 15 pages of Oblomov. (I'll finish that book this weekend. I will.) Life was good.

I wore orange yesterday. All orange. My new huge orange skirt from Olivia, my orange tank top, and later when it got colder, my faux-dancer orange wraparound shirt. Love it. painted my toenails orange, too, and wore my orange flip-flops when it rained. So orange. Spent the entire day in Lang, as I said. Went to hear Grapevine (and Jenny's solo in Say Goodbye, since i won't be able to tomorrow, since Allison's taking me to hear Rockwell Church at Rhe Point in Bryn Mawr) at the belltower around 11. I was their pitch pipe. :-) Jenny and Amelia taught them "Though My Soul ..."--i think it's so cool that it's spreading like this. Went to Peter's room to study CS around midnight or so--ended up not doing a whole lot of good, but it was more than I would have accomplished by myself. Added a new boy on his hall to my list of hot ones at Swat. ;-) Too bad they're all juniors and seniors. I think it's hilarious that [my anonymous friend] and I are such compulsive list-makers that we have lists of hot boys at swat which we consistently compare and update. Hehe.

This afternoon, half the Music 37 class (modern music) was going to the Philly Orchestra to hear three new pieces and Hilary Hahn play the Brahms Violin Concerto in D. Damn but she's incredible. Whipped off the presto from the first Sonata as an encore. Wow. There were extra tickets, so I came along. Skipped flamenco, but hell, free concert, free transportation into the city, and i'm only doing that dance for P.E. credit. I can justify anything if I try hard enought. :-) The three pieces were pretty cool. The audience was supposed to vote for which they liked best, and for the rest of the run of the program, only the "winner"'s piece will be performed. I wasn't expecting much from them. I liked the first two--Keith Fitch's piece Totem was by turns Fantasia-y and Bartók-y, more classicaly modern than Huang Rao's Three Pieces for Orchestra, in which the 24-year-old (!) composer had mixed Chinese and Western tonalities to a neat but perhaps not completely integrated effect. Both cool and laudable, though. The third was a fucking joke, however. Not a complete farce I guess. Kevin Beavers still gets credit for orchestrating a full Sinfonia, but the opening chord was direct from Beethoven IX, movement 4--not an acceptable quote! He didn't even use it! The second movement was way too Appalachian Spring, and he ended with the last notes of Bolero. Um, can we say "delusions of grandeur"? He introduced a trap set in the last movement. A fucking trap set! I just started laughing. It was so comical and bad. I voted for the Fitch piece, as did most of the Music 37 kids I talked to. Of course the Beavers won. Blah. As Jack put it, "Kevin Beavers should be locked in a room with [his piece] for three days!" Ha. That'd make him reconsider its value. A few of us (Alyson, Peter, Laura Bonham, and Jack Borrebach) went to Xando's afterwards for yumminess and conversation. Yay. Love people.

What am I doing. I need sleep so I can catch up on my back-work tomorrow (that week of being sick really fucked me over ...)

Btw--how cool is laurel? She convinced workbox to buy us a new oven! Rock on! more chocolate for Maintenance Girl.

October 8, 2000

I think I'm going to drop CS. I've been toying around with that idea recently, and telling myself it's not because it's at 8:30 AM, it's not because we have a huge assignment due Monday at midnight, it's because I hate the class and don't want to be learning it and it's not going to contribute anything towards my major. s. I don't want to be learning Java. So, I took this afternoon and wrote down what I'd already taken at Swat, what was a PDC, and what I need to graduate still. I went through the catalog and mapped out what I want to take, what I think I should take, and then looked for patterns. It's really ridiculous. Look:

Courses already taken, non-Music:
  • LING 045, Fall 1999 (PDC-SS)
  • FREN 065, Fall 1999
  • CPSC 21, Spring 2000 (PDC-NS)
  • LING 040, Spring 2000 (PDC-SS)
  • RUSS 013, Fall 2000 (PDC-H)
  • LING 043, Fall 2000
Courses already taken, Music:
  • MUSI 11, Fall 1999
  • MUSI 12, Spring 2000
  • MUSI 13, Fall 2000
  • MUSI 040a, Fall 1999
  • MUSI 040b, Spring 2000
  • MUSI 040c, Fall 2000
  • MUSI 048 (lessons), all semesters
  • MUSI 043 (Orch.), all semesters
  • MUSI 044 (chorus), Fall 1999
Courses I Want to Take, Music:
  • MUSI 015 (Theory V)
  • MUSI 004 (Opera)
  • MUSI 016 (Schenker)
  • MUSI 020 (Medieval - Renaissance)
  • MUSI 031 (Russian Music)
  • MUSI 032 (History of the String 4tet)
  • MUSI 101 (Bach seminar)
  • MUSI 102 (Debussy, Stravinsky, & Messiaen)
Other Courses I Want to Take:
  • FREN 072 (Le Roman du 20e Siècle)
  • ENGL / LING 014 (Old Eng. /Eng. History)
  • ENGL 020 (Shakespeare)
  • ENGL 070A (Poetry Workshop) (ha!)
  • ENGL 072 (Proust, Joyce and Faulkner)
  • ENGR / LING 002 (Acoustics)
  • COGS 010 / PSYC 28 (Intro to Cog. Sci.)
  • PSYC / LING 034 (Psycholinguistics)
  • LING 062 (Structure of Japanese)
  • LING 050 (Syntax)
  • LING 057 (Movement and Cognition)
  • ENGL 115 (Modern Comparative Lit.)
  • ARTH 004 (Critical Study: Picasso (!)) (PDC-H)
  • PHIL 001 (Introduction to Philosophy) with Schuldenfrei! (PDC-H)
  • ECON 001 (Introduction to Economics) (PDC-SS)
  • BIOL 001 (Cellular and Molecular Biology) (PDC-NS)
  • ASTR 003 (The Physical Universe w/Jensen!) (PDC-NS)

See a pattern, anyone? Aside from an inordinate number of English classes, I think that says to me, double major in Music and Linguistics. Sound good? Sound rational?

Say Yes. (I apologize for the form, but i haven't made one in too long, and they're fun. Click one and send it!) Anyhow. I wrote an angsty email to my faculty advisor and he agreed to see me tomorrow at 11, adding, "Ne freak pas." I'm not freaking. Well, I suppose I was then. But the more I think about it, the more I do not want to be in this goddamned CS class! I don't like what we're learning--I thought it was just going to be a language class, like CS21 (C) was. I mean, okay, so I'm stupid--of course in linguistics you don't just sit around and learn languages, but I hadn't quite put this together that they'd eventually start teaching us concepts and making us learn the languages by ourselves. And I have no desire to learn concepts. :-( Big-O notation (algorithm order analyses) can kiss my ass, as can stacks and queues.

The more I sit with this decision, the happier I am. I've encountered so little of the stereotype against girls in math and science, and so much of the reaction against the stereotype--"oh, you're a girl, you have an aptitude for math, for science, go do them! be a doctor! be an engineer!" And i don't want to. I've been reacting to that for years, but this CS is its latest incarnation, i think. I just need to wholeheartedly reject everything I don't absolutely adore--there's already enough of that--and wholeheartedly embrace all else. Music, for starters. Java was precluding me from practicing as much as I should or want to. I'm going to try and see if I can get some credit for chamber music. I think it's too late, but I'll try anyhow. If I withdraw from this I'll still be in 4 credits (Morphology, Russian Novel, Music 13, Orchestra (0.5), and lessons (0.5)--those are the ones i'm doing for credit). Which is respectable. I hate CS.

This weekend was pretty fun. Friday I went to The Point in Bryn Mawr to see Rockwell Church, this cute, pop-y, 2-boy, 2-guitar band that Nadav introduced me to last year. A belated birthday present from Allison. Much fun. Got back, stayed up too late chez Willets (la cave) and got four hours of sleep for the ridiculous day that followed.

Saturday: PYO all morning, playing Brahms 3. Goddess but I love that piece! I've had it on repeat all on Winamp since. Drive back to Swat, where I have 3 hours of flamenco. Much stomping. We learned how to swish our skirts. Mmmmm. Back into the city and out for a late lesson--Joe wasn't happy [about the hour], but then again he's never happy. Old fart. I decided I wanted some unwinding from this day, so I drove back into the city with Peter Yoo & Laurel for some Kingdom of Vegetarians (on 11th between Arch & Race, for those of you who are interested) for some $10 all-you-can-eat vegetarian dim sum action for dinner. Yum. Again, we conquered it. I love when they ask you if you want anything else--yum, hellzyeah. I got sesame noodles; Peter ordered fried bananas; Laurel craved turnip cake. We got two orders of fried bananas due to a miscommunication. Fortune cookies ("in bed"). Back to swat, painted body (my orange tights still fit! green boycut bikini bottom, flamenco shoes, pink bikini top, orange shirt, orange scarf, hair up, and body paint--jenny's watercolor pencils). SHC Paces party--pretty fun. Eve, Laurel, Jenny, Sarah Kate, Andrew Stout, and Abram ended up back at the lodge for a while. Sleeeeeeeep.

R. tried to stuff me in a music locker.

Today in Cantatrix, Xanthi taught us how to make two pitches at once, using Mongolian Buddhist chant techniques. It's sooooooooo cool! I can sing two notes at once now! And it's all the overtone series and formant harmonics, just linguistics and basic acoustics! Life rocks.

October 12, 2000, 12:22 PM

Not much time
i want to run outside in the sun
on a big adirondack chair
on which i can perch crosswise while anni reads her
Let's Go Italy book
(and be jealous--the only time!--that i don't go to Harvard
so I can't write for them)
and eat a bag lunch
(well, i don't, but i don't want to go
to sharples! :-(
but i just bought new markers!
(cost me too much at the price-inflated bookstore)
bold colors:

golden yellow

and i bought chocolate for laurel
because she got us
a new oven!!
in which we made brownies the other night,
from a mix but annaliese's recipe again:
yoRK peppermint patties melted in the middle
and alyssa, claire, and amelia came over
and laurel, kasia, sarah kate, and jenny came down
and abell smelled the brownies from her adjacent basement room
and came and joined the fun
eaten straight out of the pan on the floor of my
four-color-theorem-make-you-go-crazyblind room
with just spoons
espresso in demitasse cups for four of us
milk for others
the swat-specific purity test (67% :-)
and laurel's chocolate reward for this magnificent appliance
is raspberry ghirardelli
wrapped in pretty pink paper
and colored with beautiful markers!
(primrose and magenta)

And i got sticky mounting squares
and now my surrealist 70's poster "Lady Worthington's Bird"
is on my orange wall
and the Bach Dancing & Dynamite Society Summer of Love poster
is on the purple wall by my computer
and Mahler! mahler!
mahler is everywhere! his ninth is on my stereo
(or rather winamp with its purple skin)
on the network for Music 13 if the like
in Gerry's brain and in the simplest of sequences
like beethoven
and on my wall! mahler is on my yellow wall!

and it is beaaaaaaauuuuuuuutifully sunshine outside
(the weather channel only says it's october--
ha! with this verdure? with this light and warmth from the sky?
should be an orange conflagration of foliage
where i'm from)

Last night beer (only 2)
like prague
(except not, it's "boston lager
made with only honest ingredients")
and Spiegel
wallace and gromit on the worth lounge TV
no bottle opener except one that puncutred the top
and a Trevi in miniature! (without the sculpture)
and sillybad hallowe'en popcorn
(kasia's decorating the lodge already, cuteness)
J connects to I
and we encountered Saj (RA two years in a row!)
regaling us with margaritaville bust stories
R. grooving to Rusted Root
Jack grooving to Telemann
--ridiculousness on a wednesday night.

which was excellent--the whole day previous
was in lang,
glorious lang,
(i like the wood polish atrium)
i changed my strings two days ago so i sound
full-throated and hip-y and like i'm ready to sing
Lieder eines fahrenden Gesellen
or au minimum Hindemith
which i did
after an hour of Sevcik
and more of Appalachian spring
oo, sated! copland!
brahms III has been on repeat on winamp before the mahler kick
then the clarinet quintet
(some cats at PYO want me to play it with them ...
um ...
thick brahms part-writing--goddess, i'd love to--
but in what time?)
Beethoven I in class today (theory)
i think i played that once (?) i feel it in my fingers
and i love having my forearm muscle limber from the sevcik
had a decent piano lesson
need to learn to play that instrument
viola first though
Tony's so cool

--eep! classtime. baglunchtime. adirondacktime.

(thank you all for responding to my survey! love to you all,
and yay for linguistics, and unfettering of the natural sciences!)

October 14, 2000, 12:10 PM

I'm talking to the shadows
One o'clock to four
and lord how slow the moments go
when all i do is pour
black coffeeeeeeee...
since the blues caught my eye
i'm hanging out on monday
my sunday dreams to dry

elllllla ... slow on the stereo, a demitasse cup full of pancake batter, the syrup queen presiding over the box but not the canadian-leaf stickiness that we pour on top of the mangled ("mangO?" --no, alyssa) pancakes. Alyssa and Colleen, her friend from TIP this summer, were over this morning around ten to make pancakes (or rather, consume them) and chill before the two of them took off for their week of driving around the east coast. Boston, they say. Cool girl, Colleen. I went chez willets last night for a few hours and hung out with her and alyssa, then migrated up to Alana and Morgan (what well-matched roommates! i wish Myrt had done as well by me!) to eat a delicious apple and grill Morgan about what she had been doing in the city with R.     Both saxophonists in the jazz band (had you any idea they're woodwinds? They're made out of brass but i suppose they've got reeds ... who knew? certainly not me :-) and they were seeing Herbie Hancock (and some other dude whose name escapes me --Shorter?), but I was all jealous. I was going into the city to see a concert with Alyson (this is actually not a nonsequitor, but be patient :-).

Alyson Jones and I both decided that we were going to take rep tests when we got back from break, so we went to Underhill and each checked out a billion and one CDs. She's been hanging out in my room for a few days, just burning them. I've ripped most of mine to mp3, at least the ones i don't want to create whole CDs of (copied wholesale were Debussy La Mer, Nocturnes, et Prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune, and Strauss Don Juan, Till Eulenspiegel &c., and Tod und Verklärung (Death & Transfiguration)). She used all my labels and promises to buy me more. I fed her ramen and oreos. In return (not that I didn't enjoy having her there--it was fun to go out at 12:00 on Thursday night after pub night when Wharton CD 3rd (where Peter Yoo lives and from where he IMmed me to come over) had stolen a leftover keg, and then to come back ('lightweight' should be tattooed and flashing across my collarbone, says Laurel) and have Alyson laugh as I threw on my brightest dress and giggled as she burned CDs of Grieg's piano concerti)--i say, in return, she took me to a concert last night at the Philly Orchestra. They played Berg's Lyric Suite, Grieg's piano concerto in A minor, an Schumann's Rhenish Symphony in Eb Major. I love student vouchers! For six dollars (and she paid, so it was only $3.25 train fare in for me), we exchanged our little student tickets for box seats! Usually with those I get the Behind-A-Pillar-Nosebleed Section tickets, but they're really exchanged for the best seats left in the house. Woo-hoo! It was super funny--as we were walking out of the concert, i hear these two women talking behind us. the exchange:

Woman A: Well, there wasn't any booing or hissing, but i'm sure that's just because people are polite. I'm sure everyone hated it.
Woman B: Yes, the woman behind me was having a fit! she was saying, "I'm too busy to listen to this kind of music!"
Woman A: Yes, if you can call it music!

Hahaha--they had to have been talking about the Berg, which, while admittedly 12-tone, was very very cool. I'd enjoyed it immensely. Ah well, faith in the public plummets ...

The concert was excellent. The conductor--Daniel Harding, guest--reminded me of Mickey Mouse conducting the waves in Fantasia. No beats, just interpretive knee-bends. I think he missed his calling--he should have been a dancer. The orchestra played wonderfully, however, being the Philadelphia Orchestra. But there were places where the conductor really could have done a better job ... Alyson (the conducting student) agreed. Much fun.

Sequitor from above: Taking the train in, R. showed up. Said he was going into the city to meet a friend for a concert. Wow, this really isn't much of a sequitor. Or of interest. On to new topics.

I set off the fire alarm with the smoke from my cooking endeavors this morning. Alyssa and Colleen came over, and i mixed up pancakes (I am such a college student!--went to Genuardi's the other day, and bought 10 packages of ramen, two of macaroni and cheese, some chocolate for laurel, pancake mix, and maple syrup! hehe :-), and we tried to cook them. We didn't have a spatula so two forks had to do ... which they mostly did ... they started smoking though, and I ended up setting off the fire alarm. Called Public Safety and I think they hate me now--"damn, we give those girls in Lodge 2 a new oven, and the first thing they do with it is use it to set the fire alarms off!" Apparently an alarm went off in the fieldhouse at the same time. Since my room was smoked up, I opened the window, and in so doing knocked off a couple spiders who were hanging out on the sill--dead, i think, but I don't care, so I RAIDed the window. Which stank. So the lilac Glade (air freshener) came out, and now my room smells like pancake smoke (associations: my dad making pancakes when I was little); RAID (associations: my mom spraying the window by the piano four or so years ago; my basment before I moved in this year); lilac glade (associations: the lilac bush outside my house). Weird combinations. Put on my weird-scented deodorant and a little lilac essence (taking to wearing it now and then) and now i smell like myself again, and my room's clearing out.

a few nights ago, dim sum at the Kingdom again. Mmm. I'm going again tonight. Do they know me by now? After, we (Ben Gazy, Sara Edelstien, Alyssa, Laurel, Jenny, Casey, and I) found an apple and hollowed out a path (coke bottle idea rejected) and went to Crumbhenge in the full moonlight. Much fun. The following morning, good PYO and lesson. Yeah.

I'm not going to Brown. I wish i could but i don't have time. Or money. I need to just sit at home and work--Anna Karenina, a few more books, two papers, lots of theory and practice to do. No time. Boo-hoo. But i'm going to enjoy having time to sit in the sun on swat's beautiful campus in this beautiful weather and just chill, work slowly. It'll be very good. I wish more of my friends would stay--they're leaving most of them tomorrow morning for Fall Break. Time to go sit on Worth lawn (in my orange skirt!--i love this! thank you, olivia!) and read Tolstoy.

October 18, 2000, 12:37 AM

Allison wants something in "morbid green." Here you go, Allison--to match your toenails, and the death your grandparents always talk about (they now can't mention a dead friend without cracking up, tongue-in-cheek). Spring equated with death--how russian! Anna Karenina's Lévin should equate those two, not you! Finally the leaves have turned orange--orange and death, that i could groove with. Blaze in and out in glory.

This is excellent. Fall break is so filled with food! Allison and I just went up to visit her grandparents, Irv and Sylvia Silver, Grandma and Poppy, in New Jersey, right across the George Washington bridge from the city. They stuffed us full of yummy food; we read; i studied for rep tests (i.e. put a bunch of good, burned CDs on their multi-disc player and read Anna Karenina and played cards with Allison). I think I could see myself living in New York eventually. In the past when i've been here, the hugeness and funkiness and extreme anonymity of the city has daunted me, but now, having kicked around Philadelphia for a year and some, I'm getting to feel like it doesn't efface me but is just he kind of canvas i'd need. I don't know. I would feel less like this, i think, if i didn't have a direct goal associated with the city in mind--viola. this is THE PLACE to be if you want to do it. It's going to take so much work ... damn, i hope i can do it--but i think it'll come. (Side note--joe keeps iterating in various ways that he thinks I can, but godddessdamnitall, it will take so much work!)

I burnt a CD the other night when i was really tired. I'm trying to do rep tests, and i decided i didn't know beethoven or britten well enough (along with all the others i don't know well enough) and so i burnt this CD of beethoven 3 ("Eroica") and britten Four Sea Interludes, but I managed to stick an extra sea interlude in between the third and fourth movements of the Beethoven. I'm dumb. So now every time i' play this CD i 'm going to have to skip over track 4, which is a spurious "Sunday Morning." I'd re-burn it but i made it beautiful labels. Whatever. I still love my CD burner, and this is cool, learning repertoire for a test. You have to take one rep test to be accepted as a major, but matt murphy still hasn't, haha, and so it's not a big deal. But you have to take 5 to graduate (i mean PASS 5) so i'm glad to do it now. But Beethoven! I have recently discovered I, III, and VI! And I love them in the following order: III, I, VI. But I haven't heard six enough yet. I knew V; we're doign IX now in Swat orchestra. What a master! I love love love it all.

John Cohen asserts that the keys in which we hear things are irrelevant--that even if the C major of the Jupiter Symphony is very much characteristic of it, and engrained in our brains as C, Mozart would have heard it as B major (with A415)! Damn baroque pitch. I think I'll do a fuller diatribe on this later when I have time. And a survey. :-)

My jeans have many fucking holes in them. I have to patch them tomorrow. We're going to south street, us three, to hit the thrift, poster, and used-book shops, and then to IKEA. Haha. I need new jeans though.

Food: Laurel and Allison and I hit Genuardi's this afternoon after having driven a couple hours down the New Jersey turnpike back to beautiful Swarthmore. The leaves are finally chainging colors! Finally my brilliant, coveted orange is popping out of the foliage in full neon. Oh but i love it. I hope the "happy little trysting place" as Hollis refers to that crazy little tree on the Willets-Sharples path turns bright purple again. Maybe i'll have to re-dye my hair "Moroccan Cherry" as i did last year to match it, and again pin bright leaves into my short braids (much longer now) and barettes. I loved freshman year. Damn but I had an excellent time. I'm having a lot of fun this year, too, but not as clearly, or as newly exciting as the first year was. Making a home in Lang; bonding with frosh in a sea of already-collegiate upperclassmen; getting to know hallmates; the din of living in Willets; Alyssa; purple hair and purple leaves; SEPTA into the city as it gradually got colder; Willets 1st South bonding ... aaap. One year down. Down and gone, and three to go. Two-point-seven-five. I'm scared for it to end. I hope i continue to peak.
...but food. I went to genuardi's today and stocked up with Laurel and allison. I have a beautiful new knife. oh but those onions met a fine and brutal guillotine this evening. Laurel has a lovely new cutting board. we have been cooking up a storm (like the 4th movement of the britten; like the fourth of the Pastoral) all night. Yum. Tonight was julia child's french curry, new rice (the ratio on this kind is one-to-one rice-to-water, as i found out the hard way), rice pudding (courtesy of the too-wet and ruined first-attempt rice), and pumpkin pie. Mike Smith, all dressed up to go to Woody's, came over (i painted his nails dark blood-red and painted his eyes), as did Kellam, and Laurel and Allison and I cooked all the above plus Allison's guacamole. Poetic guacamole. We devoured it. Kellam played the Suite Hébraïque better than i have in a while on my viola. I need to practice now that i'm back. We ate the pumpkin pie with extra fat whipped fat cream fat fat fat triple fat fat yum fat.

i want to write for the phoenix--a grammar-bitching column. i'm not even kidding. I'd start with "Begging the Question" and its uses and misuses. Rarrrr, hear my syntax roar.

Cosmo's Naughty Notecards--the Swat Version, à la Nori & Laurel:
Those that I'm going to distribute:
  • Call Me: Log On: I had a steamy dream last night and want to whisper IM it to you.
  • Pssst ... I won't be wearing any underwear at the restaurant Sharples tonight.
  • This Evening, get ready for a striptease study break you'll never forget.
  • Right Now: I'm thinking of how hot you were last night (at Beardsley)--and hoping for a rerun.
  • If Only ... you were here right now--I'd be doing something very, very naughty to you (keeping you from studying!).
  • Warning! I'm going to bring you to new heights of ecstasy when--and where--you least expect it--in orgo lab!
Those that Laurel's going to distribute:
  • Wanna Play? When you get home, follow the trail of clothes existential crises to find a sexy treasure--me.
  • Pack your Bags. On Friday, I'm hijacking you to a remote destination* (the Crum) for a weekend so wild, you won't want to come back.
  • Tsk Tsk ... You've been a bad boy--and tonight I'm going to teach you a lesson "WA your paper"!
  • Hint: You'll have to apologize to all your neighbors hallmates tomorrow because we're going to keep them up all night!
  • Please call in email your professor sick to work for class today and i'll make you sooo glad you did.
  • Confess your most erotic fantasy problem set. Later on, i'll act it out for you.

Anna's talking about applying to this program which is very CTD-(and TIP-)like, but where the college-age staff teaches their own little mini-courses. Oh, i'd love to! and living with Anna, too! But I want to live with Alyssa--has been in the works for a while--and go to China with PYO, and go to Aspen, and ... and ... damn. Too little time in one summer.

list of random thoughts, 15.X.2000:
i love post-it notesbrahms requiem rocks my world. i love the slow build-up in the second movement, happens twice, the half-half-dottedquarter-eighth-half timpani pattern that builds into a huge proclamation of "Den alles Fleisches ist wie Grass" while the violins beat out a counterpoint under themgenuardi's phone number is (610) 604-1570 and they're open till 10 on Sundaysnixon scares me when he tells me i have email!i'm very pleased with what i've created in this journal-of-sorts and its archive.

Allison says my source code looks like a bunch of sideways eiffel towers. I think that means we have to sleep.

October 21, 2000, 12:19 AM

Fall break seems to be over.

I'm really, really displeased by this fact. It has been pretty damn wonderful. New Jersey with Allison and her grandparents was cool, but cooler was getting back and then going to Genuardi's every day, cooking constantly, having three dinner parties on three consecutive nights, and an impromptu tea party on the fourth. I don't really want to go back. Give me another week, please! Another week with all my friends around me, in my beautifully-furnished and -painted and -musicked room, with my lovely, arranged kitchen, and i'll be such a happy camper.

But no, classes re-commence day after tomorrow. By the clock that's in about 36 hours. Harumph. I can deal, I think. I have so much, so much work to do, and I'm very sad about it all--not the work, but the idea that I'm going to be behinder and behinder on work is not too attractive. I've read 300 pages of Anna Karenina, but I'm supposed to be reading Home of the Gentry instead--it's just that Anna K comes after home, and i know i won't have time to read 800 pages during the semester. So a good start--but that and "study for rep tests" (i.e. blast Beethoven) is all I've done this break. Tomorrow morning starts the party of theory and russian novel stuff. Woo-hoo!

This break has been so good. After we made french curry (previous entry), we followed it with red pepper pasta sauce and la reine de saba, who was a little overdone but still quasi-orgasmique. That was Thursday; Friday (last night) the campers returned from the Shenandoah mountains, so in addition to me, Laurel, Jenny (=3), Mike Smith, Paul, Heather Doyle, Dave Auerbach (=6), we had Alana, R., Morgan, and Joe (=11). Very chill evening. We set up a table we made from four cinderblocks and a 4'x4' plank (yay Home Depot! :-), lit the sconce, and turned on all my new lights, sushi candles that laurel bought me, and had a great dinner. (My new lights!: Spherical paper lantern suspended above my bed, halogen, plant light! Also: silver holed tumblerish silverware holder; pretty rug; plant; hanging 3-tiered basket for Laurel; wine glasses. Good stuff!) We made gado-gado and yummy rice, along with banana bread for dessert. Went outside and screamed and played violent derivations of Red Rover (the Malaysian "kubbity!"). Excellent fun, even though Laurel managed to get smoke throughout the entire lodge--I thought the peanut sauce was burning, and smoke started billowing off the stovetop. I transferred the sauce to another pan, but it kept smoking, and smoking, so mysteriously ... finally laurel realized it was the bread she had left to singe in the oven. By this time we're having to practically crawl on the floor due to the thick and billowing smoke. No smoke detectors going off yet--I think they were disabled with the pancakes episode sunday morning. Still, such a nice evening!

This morning PYO and Firebird. Yay.

Jenny and I were lounging on the lawn this afternoon. She started playing hacky-sack with some stoners at the other end of the yard, i delivered Claire Weiss her much-missed sugar cubes, and we began feeling restless. The sun began to set and deprive us of our warm spot on the grass. We decided to catch it from the Crum and tramped into the woods for some beautiful fall foliage and solace. Mmm. Mist on the crum meadow. Went across the creek via the huge fallen tree and sat under a small canopy of overgrown leaves for a while. Renato's for dinner, her treat, since I've been cooking so much recently. Good not to have to cook. (I do enjoy it, though, and it was cool to pull out leftover noodles, brie & crackers, and pumpkin pie from the fridge for lunch today!) Amelia and Laurel showed up soon after we got back, and we ended up doing last night's dishes and making pesto out of our leftover basil (very garlicky and parmesany, but hell, we like those ingredients, too!), drinking green tea and eating a ton of sugar cubes, all around our new table, on my CD coasters! yay.

Mom's new Baby Beastie
Hey Laurel and Nori,

Looks like we've found a match between the two of you! I've been making matches for a long time, and I definitely sense something special here. So why don't you two get together for coffee or a drink?

The Daily Jolt

I hate love monkeys! :-( I came home from PYO this morning to discover that, no longer can i laugh from above the fray, but that some idiot has either typed me into their list to find out if I typed them in, or actually resorted to this method, the likes of which we should have outgrown with fifth grade, side ponytails, snap-bracelets, and the Garbage Pail Kids. Just for the hell of it, however, I went and typed in laurel, just to piss her off and see what would happen. Resultant was the letter at left. Eh, it's cute. Wish it would actually fucking work, or that people would not be so stupid and just ask me out. Ha, perhaps i'm a hopeless romantic. ;-)

Mom has a new computer, grace à moi (who managed to break the screen of the old one--just through old age and use, not misuse!) and her warranty. She's calling it her "Baby Beastie." I think that's adorable.

Sleep so I can attack my work tomorrow. Rar. I'm going to work on really enjoying this place--not that i don't currently, it's just that there's so much that it's so easy to gets swamped in that it's also easy to get lost in the stress and not enjoy everything else Swat hast to offer. I love this place and what I'm doing here; i just need to chill and not kill myself. Yay for fall break.

I still want another week.

October 24, 2000, 1:03 AM

October 25, 2000, 1:17 AM

I have too much work. Stupid Russian Novel papers.

Xanthi wants me to bring her pierogies from sharples.

I want to sit at home and bake cookies and listen to Beethoven string quartets. I did my theory in a timely fashion today, though. I'm a good girl in that respect.

Where is another week of fall break when you need it. And where is Bydywojo! (I think he needs a patronymic.) He hasn't made an appearance since July 31st! Now he returns. He's been hanging around Lang a bunch, so I stop in and say hello when we're practicing (or i'm doing theory, or whatever) at the same time. Playing around with my .project file on sccs and he's getting the idea. I'm quite pleased with myself. (I'm also pleased with myself that my mother will have no idea what that last paragraph means. :-) This weekend, as I said, Alexis is here, and plus I have two gigs and a lot to do, homework and otherwise, so perhaps some .projects will have to be put off to a later [rain] date. But it can't be too late--i only have the end semester. Stupid Poles. I'll be in the country. But who knows anyhow. He could be amused--I certainly would be with me--and just toying. Ha. I think i'm going to let Rasumovsky (all these Random Russian Guys!--this one's a little older and presumably nont as hot) sing me to sleep. Rasumovsky or Bydywojo. Either will do (B. preferable) but I think I only have four strings right now, and i might need a reed for the latter. (I would play upon him; you would seem to know his stops; I would pluck out the heart of his mystery; I would sound him from his lowest note to the top of his compass: and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ; yet cannot I make it speak? I don't know. Tryin'. But these here are Danes and I'm only interested in the Russians, or rather their pseudonymicized people.)

Damn it, Bydywojo, the days grow short. Saturday the clock changes.

October 29, 2000, 2:04 AM

Jedermann sein eigner Fussball

So much coming at you at once. And this on the weekend. Different styles of barrage than the typical giorni feriali, but damn, in what a disconnected, wonderfully socratic way. "here it all is--make something of it" instead of a course within a discipline. It swirls too much around my head and I can barely keep track of what is where is when is why but i love it all and this is swarthmore, this in conjunction with the discussion i had with sarah kate this afternoon about a book we're reading, this and all swatties who learn words from reading and then pronounce them wrong, this and italian morphology, this and non-diatonic secondary dominant diminshed seventh pivot chords, this and the effect of relativistic motion on electrical charges and roommates who know what that means. But "this." This is the russian five-man chorus who marched into PYO saturday morning and dropped a mind-achingly beautiful Russian Te Deum on the floor (complete with those special intervals--some kind of sixth?--that are so minor and pungently slavic), rang a bell as a token of friendship, and then left. This is acoustic viola and violin accompanying Ellipsis in a ben folds five song in a rather smoky "Rose Tattoo" café set up in paces with the stoners of Worth playing pseudoNeoMarley. This is an afternoon of flamenco, that dance full of hemiola and counting that twists your neck and your hips, leaves my brain exhausted and my body feeling inadequately competent--me learning that I'm not the immediate best at everything, and now on a non-academic or -music level, is probably good for me--and is seduction raised off a .project level to an art form (if only dot-files could wear heeled shoes and full skirts!). This is dada on the internet and in Heather Doyle; the enigmantically wonderful webjournaler Ben Galynker. This is orange velvet wings. This is a Bach cantata and brandenburg and passion and aria and organ prelude with pedals and even in Podunk PA the wash of brilliant counterpoint.

This prevents me from catching up on all my homework.

having lost my October 24th jouranl entry due to carelessness on my part, Laurel would like to be re-listed as an accessory to seduction.

eve bought me the coolest t-shirt. I described a small black thing to her and she came back with my words reified. I've been wearing it since. I'm going to continue to wear it if W wins the election--Laurel's mother says that if he does, they're not going to celebrate thanksgiving chez eux, that they're going to cover all the mirrors in the house and sit shiva for the death of the American republic. Laurel and I will join her here and make black veils and wear all black. This would be the only good thing about the goddamnèd Nader warriors kicking Al in the ass and handing W (who's now sponsoring pro-Nader ads!!) the election on a plate--that I would get to wear a cool veil, sit shiva for the first time ever, and continue to live in this beautiful black t-shirt.

i sent in my absentee ballot two days ago. Rock the vote.

October 31, 2000, 3:07 AM

how much hair can come out in the shower before i go bald?

laurel was mad at me this afternoon because i wouldn't give her 55 cents to mail her absentee ballot if she wouldn't tell me which candidate (AG or RN; we're not counting GWB here) she voted for.

Janacek is cool. too bad i didn't ever listen to that CD I got before Anna was asking me about background music for a cocktail party at which Phillip Glass would be the guest of honor and I came up with Janacek. She's not actually going to use it--too obtrusive--but i've got the first quartet on winamp now.

i'm going to call public safety to jump my car in the morning. laurel and jenny and i are going to go driving, listening to paul simon.

I have an orange bandaid on my finger with some neosporin to cover up the bite that my music locker gave me.

I need to settle on a color of nailpolish. This is very unlike me, to be going through color after color. Right now it's a neon maroonish pink, very electric. I feel like i've got talons on the middle three fingers of the right hand (3 of the 4 nails (the fourth being the left thumb) i don't have to cut for violaplaying). I think i just have to buy a new color.

I hate it when George Pahomov and Perry won't shut up in Russian Novel. At least the latter says intelligent things with some regularity. I took down GP today when he and (the cool) Thompson Bradley were completely disagreeing on a point. Why doesn't TB just teach?!

i love having my hair stroked. i'm never cutting it again. famous last words? perhaps but i love it down and vixen.

happy birthday, alana! i'm sorry your mailbox filters don't turn me orange.

paces is an excellent place. cheesecake and cappuccino rock my world. the cappuccino is so italy, the day we got lost in Parma and ingested too much caffiene for the awful busride back. just as beer tastes like prauge. i'm going to pub night thursday!

all this ©nori heikkinen, October 2000

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