january, 2001

Monday, January 2, 2001, 9:30 PM

papers ... finishèd. theory likewise done. only thing left to do to complete the semester is this morphology revision. Soon. No deadline on that one.

Laurel had the idea at the beginning of break to write to a bunch of people (me, her, jenny, mike smith, ben galynker, galen, amelia, paul, roban, alyssa, claire, and abram) in verse.

some of the replies
to come out (we've heard from all
but paul now) have been

just text broken down
into haikus. which frustrates
me a bit, because

the reason i like
it (it had such potential
for intellectu-

al masturbation)
is because form forces you
to limit what you're

going to say, distill
your days into something small-
er. Which is what's hap-

pening in the better ones.

Okay, so that's an exaggeration, but you'll forgive me. I hope. Anyhow: because my days recently have been very kind of mope-ish, kind of ready to go back to school but nowhere NEAR ready to stop having a break, i'm just going to stick in some blank verse i churned out today.

an update: here, another sock attack
with no premeditation--buying coats
and allison wants mittens, so we look
on the far wall. no mittens, but i find
(along with metal belts of elephants,
cheap purses, lingerie, and other crap)
a wall of socks, all colors, and i wish
that my roommates were here and that i drove
my orange behemoth (left in warm PA
--i do not think it likes the cold midwest).
but no impediment--roommates or no,
i buy two pairs of socks. i love new socks.
one pair is black with neon flower things
a seventeen-year-old would wear it well
a good accessory to vinyl pants
from dELiA*s or some such other shit.
The other pair is stars--dark blue in back
a crescent moon above the ankle hangs
and on the instep far more twinkling dots
than ever will appear in fucking Swat.

i now wear one of each. i love new socks.

--and now what will i do when summer comes?
i love no shoes, no socks, but then what fate
awaits my socks? i guess they aestivate.
like bears in hibernation except not.

but i mentioned a coat. and what a coat.
last night--or afternoon, i guess, but hey--
i slept till three, so who knows what it was--
i went with allison and emilie
because they needed coats and i was bored.
my mom spent five whole minutes telling A.
that she should somehow make me buy a coat
where she had failed (department stores of Death
--"here, honey, buy this one" she tries to urge
i grimace at the knee length ugly thing
we schlepp through several and then give up).

I have no plan or wish to buy a coat.
My mom, for christmas, got me a new vest
like jenny's except not--hers red, and mine
is yellow and it zips--no popping snaps--
whatever! in my vest i'm fine and warm
but my mom seems to think that just because
the east coast just got nine inches of snow
that i will freeze off my wisconsin ass.

So, with a mission, we three drive 'cross town
--to Burlington, a so-called Factory
of Coats--where i stand, bored, while A. and Em
peruse the sea of aisles of wool coats.
I'm kind of bored and just a fashion judge
until i spot the aisle marked "FAUX FUR."
(hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe)
mom gets her wish, and now my ass is warm
well-insulated with a leopard print
it's silver, with black spots, and to my knees;
cut like my old one but it's larger still.
Ridiculous and feels like i've killed
a thousand faux fur leopards for my warmth.
So furry! i just walk around and laugh
and pet myself and look again and laugh.
A good replacement for the dying one.
And this one will provide me so much fun.

Meantime, at home, and even with the coat
mom's in a snit--she likes it, but recalls
that i have theory which is due today
and didn't really dig it when i said
that i was going out last night to drink
some daiquiris, watch movies with my friends.
She's us'lly pretty chill but i guess now
my grandma, staying here, 's an added strain.
three Eleanors in one house isn't great
for sanity on anybody's part.
(Yup, grandma, mom, and me: the same namesake--
five in a line from her of Aquitaine.)

So if i want to keep my now-warm ass,
not have it paddled, i had better go.
A bagel, then i've got to analyze
some bach. and schubert. wish me luck. adeiu.

Sunday, January 7, 2001, 7:03 PM

apathy strikes, and with a vengance, if it can. yes i've been reading. yes i've been beading necklaces with my name in binary code, demolishing "the cartoon history of the unvierse" (books I & II), yes i've been making and eating plenty of sushi with andrea, allison, and emilie, yes i've been drinking cheap champagne with ari, yes i've been garnering and field-testing new recipes for the 2nd edition of the cookbook, but something's lacking. and that's good. comatose, not doing anything ... today i went shoe-shopping with my mom. tried on boots with heels ranging from 2½ inches to i want these (brown)about 4, and decided no on the whole idea for now. meanwhile, trying to retrieve my passport from swat so i can actually go to paris; trying to move the sewing machine upstairs so i can finish these pants and skirt i'm working on without going allergy-crazy in the basement ... back to the Romans and Shostakovich (bought Leningrad the other day--nyphil and masur).

Tuesday, January 9, 2001, 5:04 PM

i just fell asleep listening to shostakovich 7, and it was one of the most concentrated listening experiences i've ever had. the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th movements--i couldn't have dealt with the belligerence of the 1st asleep. the intervals were spelling themselves out as they went, i was analyizng chord tones as they passed, the solfège sang me to sleep and i realize that even though it begins ii - V - I, the C major is so obscured by the uniquely-shostakovich style. the intervals he uses are his. how can that be? i'm excited for this course on russian music in the spring.

that said, i'm also so glad to not be at swarthmore right now. land of insanity.

allison and i last night made cinnamon buns for our sisters, and distributed them as we did last june. (we couldn't do it during finals week because i'm going to be in Paris, that is, if my passport gets here from swarthmore in time ... :: crossing fingers ::) Found five sisters (our two, Emilie's two, and andrea rock's one) and a few old teachers in an hour and some. How did we survive high school? what a hellish place.

i love kneading bread. i also love my new pants, and my belt that says "princess." hehe.

News Flash, 9:03 PM -- I'M BORED!!!!!! --wow, when was the last time i said that?! I was trying to put my finger on this vague apathy, vague lack of things to do, and i realized this feeling has a name--BOREDOM! Oh this news makes me soooooooooooooo happy.

Wednesday, January 10, 2001, 10:21 PM

my mom says i'm supposed to be asleep in nine minutes. good luck, mom. actually i'm really tired. she woke me up at 10:30 today! the outrage. i have to be up at 6:30 tomorrow to shower, eat breakfast, and head off to paris.

yes, paris. baguettes, garçons, café au lait, fine paintings, and français. i'm excited. i'm going to try and find an internet-café while i'm there and send mail to people--i've got a list on telnet that i'm going to use, but if you think i've forgotten you (which is unlikely if you're reading this, but who knows?), drop me a line and i'll write you about all my exciting and salacious goings-on in the land of Baudelaire, Debussy, and le Marquis de Sade. Ha ha. I'll be travelling with a group of adult-ed christians on an extended art class, ma mère chaperoning, so if they get boring and museum-y, i'm going to ditch them, find a friend (both ross and rina will be chilling in paris for a few days while i'm there) and the aforementioned café.

mended pants today. sewed a whole new pair (or rather, put cloth in the seams of a pair i found in my closet so i can wear them), and mended a few old pairs. i love pants and i hate having to buy them new. i'm considering my old red cords--they're fast approaching worthless (yes, laurel, even to you). i also polished my black clogs--who knew that the scuffs went away? they're like new! yay bootblack.

sleeptime. or rather, packing time. i have my passport (SARAH KATE, YOU'RE A GODDESS), so i can actually leave the country now, i just balanced my checkbooks, i have my half-finished Anna Karenina for the plane, and all i need to go now is clothes. &c. I get back in town the 19th, whereupon i crash, jetlagged, and drive out to swat the next two days. So i'll see most of you the 22nd. adeiu! yay france.

January 11 - 19, 2001 -- my trip to france

Sunday, January 21, 2001, 8:04 AM

We followed a white buffalo strapped to ted of a pickup truck, Allison and I, past the exit for the Toledo Zoo, through five interlocking horseshoe counties, and past Russia to Andrea's room where her turtle tank hummed me to sleep around ten PM. (I'm obviously still jetlagged.) Allison and Andrea went out for salad and movie, and the next I encountered them was Andrea talking in her sleep twelve feet above us, muttering "I don't know, ashes ..." and Allison muttering sleepily about the pre-dawn hour. Fully awake I wandered off into the corridors of some Oberlin dorm to find a bathroom and light.

We have bagels in the car. Thousands of poppyseed bagels, heavenly stuff that inspired STC to write Kubla Khan (ask Laurel to recite it), and we'd test SO positive on a drug test were we pulled over. Travelling towards Swarthmore and Bryn Mawr, respectively. And it's good--i was afraid it wouldn't be, that I would still be singing Joni Mitchell, and Ross and I did, along the Seine (but no Pont Mirabeau--I'm dumb and never suspected the Master of Calligrams, whose grave we saw in Père-Lachaise), but now I'm ready to be back.

And allison's urging me on towards the city of brotherly love (goddamn the intrinsic gendering of all indo-european languages--'daughter' from the Hindi 'milkmaid'), to go listen to the Lodge 2 Mix in the car, eat clementines and opium bagels, and listen to greek myths on tape as recited by Ferris Bueller. Swarthmore tonight.

Wednesday, January 30, 2001, 2:27 PM

back at swarthmore am i.

my trip to france was great, and it's very good to be back, and i'm glad it's good, and yet i don't have the time and energy right now to tell you how and in what ways good. that will come with a little time. And i have a little time. Only I need to spend this afternoon running in the glorious sunlight, figuring out my (what's becoming a) triple-major (technically, double, but with an 8-credit concentration) at the music major meeting, translating old english (love the class), playing viola, and going late to Tom Jones. ... all for now i can show you is that which people have said about me recently. Nothing much but if you can't hear me about me, here are others about me:

* Alana ~ i look radiant * Oliver ~ overheard my laugh in sharples a few days ago * jeanne ~ i'm the most flirtatious person she knows * abigail ~ that i was cool for hanging out with 4 random, semi-unknown seniors the other night * ari ~ congratulated me on my dishes ruse * jenny ~ that i have decent composition on photos *

~ all of which make me happy. More soon--Ben threatened, "don't make me come over there and ftp for you."

all this ©nori heikkinen, January 2001

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